As a mother, it is easy to let your health and well-being get away from you. Self-care is often moved to the back burner with school, housework, raising our children, work, husbands, running errands, and any other obligations you may have, by the end of the day, you’re exhausted and don’t even realize that you did nothing that day to take care of yourself.
We often forget the importance of self-care and that in order for us to function at our best for our homes and families, we need to be functioning at our best mentally, physically, and spiritually.
In my own experience one day I looked up and realized that I had gained weight, I wasn’t healthy, I lacked energy all the time, my mood left much to be desired, and overall I was not well. I wasn’t taking inventory of myself on how I was doing, or how I was feeling.
Since then I’ve started doing the work and making progress. So I wanted to share with you some of the changes I began making. I hope that you can apply some of them as well to get yourself back on track to taking better care of yourself!
14 Steps to Practicing Better Self-Care
1. Start Being More Active
Working some movement into your day can make all the difference in how you feel, especially if you do so in the morning. I have never been an active person and for the majority of my adult life, I’ve spent it living a sedentary lifestyle, meaning there wasn’t much movement taking place throughout my day. And as a result not only did I put on a lot of pounds, but it also affected my self-discipline, motivation, energy, mood, and self-esteem. Being active doesn't necessarily mean hitting the gym hardcore 6 days a week. It could be something as simple as taking a 30-minute walk or doing a light home workout on YouTube.
My favorite fitness YouTuber is GrowWithJo, you can find her channel here, she also has an amazing app! Jo has a lot of fun beginner workouts that you can do in your spare time right at home. I started out walking my neighborhood several times a week. Studies have shown that walking even 30 minutes a day can have a great impact on your health, energy levels, skin, mood, etc. And if working out isn’t for you, consider some other form of movement, swimming, pilates, indoor or outdoor biking, etc. There is something out there for everyone. So if you are prone to sitting for prolonged periods of time, consider getting some movement into your daily routine and see how much better you feel!
2. Eat More Fruits & Veggies
We have been told this since we were children and for some reason, a lot of us still struggle with eating fruits and veggies on a daily basis. And as a result, our bodies take a hit. Not getting at least the recommended amount of fruits and veggies in your body affects every aspect of your daily life. Your body is a complex system, and if it doesn't get what it needs it lets you know by your energy levels, your mental health, your skin health, your periods, etc. Only you know if you’re getting the proper nutrients. I started looking for different recipes that I could try that had a lot more veggies, buying more fruit, making fruit smoothies, and fruit salads. I also started taking a green powder for an extra fruit & veggie boost.
There are still some days I know I could do better but I am moving in the right direction. I also like to try whole food plant-based recipes so that I know we are getting in more nutrient-dense foods. Plant-based recipes at home helps to avoid highly processed unhealthy preservatives at the grocery stores. Have fun with your foods, try making them in different ways, do whatever it takes to give your body what it needs, and eat more fruit! Eating well is a form of self-care!
3. Take Your Supplements Regularly
This is another REALLY big one. Oftentimes we feel as though we are fatigued, overwhelmed, and sometimes even lazy when in reality all of those things may simply be a result of a vitamin deficiency. I LOVE my vitamins and some of them have made a really big difference in my daily life. For example, I struggled with anxiety, I have since I was a child, but it turns out that the bulk of my anxiety was a result of a lack of magnesium,
Vitamin B, and Vitamin D. Once I started taking these on a daily basis as well as a good multivitamin, I love this one by Mary Ruth's Organics I began to feel SO much better! Consider taking the supplements that your body needs. The negative things we often feel come from our body telling us that it needs something that it isn’t getting. So keep this in mind!
4. Consider Not Eating Out as Much
Most of us love the convenience and endless options we have when it comes to eating out. On the days we don't have the energy or time to cook, it’s nice is it to be able to order takeout or make a quick trip to Chick-fil-a(guilty) and be done for the day. Though I understand, what I’ve learned is that the majority of fast food contains an unbelievable amount of ingredients that are wreaking havoc on our bodies, causing obesity, heart disease, cancers, skin conditions, hormonal imbalances, imbalances in our gut biome, I could go on for days. Though it is convenient and tastes amazing we can’t get around the fact that cooking your food at home is the best and healthiest option for our bodies.
Many of the health issues we have as women stem from our diets, & fast foods and restaurants aren't doing us any favors and it's doing a lot more harm than good. In order to help you in the places where you feel you’re struggling at home, strongly consider not eating out as much if at all. That way you know exactly what is going into your food when you make it. You can even find copycat recipes online for a lot of your favorite foods that you get from different places. Pinterest is amazing for this!! So you don’t have to miss out on the foods that you love, and you get all the benefits of homemade nutritious foods. I guarantee you will feel a difference.
5. Pay Closer Attention To Your Groceries
I can't tell you how many times I thought I was buying something “healthy” just to discover that it had a laundry list of ingredients that I couldn't pronounce, and I had no idea what they were. Only to find out later on that the majority of the ingredients were toxic to my body and came with more side effects than they did syllables. This encouraged me to begin being more intentional with my food choices.
Though it does take more time than when I would simply choose what looked good at first glance, and sometimes it can involve some google searches in the grocery aisle. Cutting out ultra-processed foods meant cutting out the dangers that came along with them which also meant that I was taking better care of my body and ultimately I began feeling better.
6. Drink More Water
Drink your water!!! Dehydration is a prime culprit in low energy, brain fog, fatigue, and much more. A lot of times we are dehydrated and showing clear signs of dehydration without even realizing it. Some signs of dehydration are feeling tired, dizziness or headaches, dry skin, low energy, feet swelling, constipation, confusion, irritability, etc. I start when I first wake up in the morning and I try to drink water throughout my day. I also opt for coconut water sometimes because I can drink less while still hydrating as coconut water also contains electrolytes that promote hydration.
7. Try Journaling
Writing on a daily basis helps a ton with easing a cluttered mind, not being able to focus, dealing with my emotions, and taking inventory of how I’m feeling and whatever it is I’m going through. Being able to write it all out, the things you may not say to anyone else, your frustrations, your fears, and even your joys can help to give you the mental clarity you need to start or end your day.
I’ve recently been trying to journal at night but at some point, I’d also like to start in the morning to set the tone for the day and also wrap up the day. You don't necessarily need to set a writing limit or need prompts though some do enjoy these. Sometimes it's just good to free write and you'd be surprised what you discover has been lingering in your mind and now much lighter you may feel afterward. It's a great way to decompress!
And if you’re not much of a writer you can find other ways to help you decompress. It may be music, art, painting, etc. something that helps you release & readjust!
8. Read The Word More
If you are anything like me and have struggled with consistently reading the Word daily, then this is for you. It always amazes me how I know that my quality of life improves when I read the Word on a daily basis and yet somehow I still manage to let it slip away from me. So I decided to stop doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results because…insanity right?
Commit to reading your scriptures at some point in your day. Try starting or ending your day with the Word(or both). I also like to take notes so that I can be sure I’m fully internalizing whatever it is I’m reading. Sometimes it helps to read something that relates to what I'm dealing with at the moment or how I’m feeling that day. But I also want to be sure I'm reading the Bible in its entirety so I'm working my way up to 4 chapters a day. Seek Him and you will find Him.
9. Pray More
Creating a safe space for you to go to the Father is probably the most important step here. And yet again, I find it so hard to go to that space sometimes. Whether it be because I feel guilty or stubborn, not taking the time to invest in your prayer life and building that intimacy with The Most High is probably the most counter-productive thing you can do. The further we tend to stray from Him the more our lives begin to unravel. So consider this to be your redirection mama. Pray daily. We need Him, and He is waiting on us. Draw near to Him and He will draw near to you. Too often we neglect our spiritual self-care and that manifests in our daily lives.
10. Get Organized
Listening to a lot of women discuss their grievances when it comes to being overwhelmed. It seems as though the majority of that overwhelm stems from us simply being disorganized or having poor time management skills. There are so many different tools and resources available for you to be able to get a better hold of your day, it’s just that many times we don’t have the discipline to follow through. I prefer to use a physical planner and Trello.
My planner allows me to see my day-to-day or my weekly overview, while Trello allows me to see everything I could possibly need to get done in whatever area of my life I choose to make a board on and I can organize them from there. Different things work for different people so find what works for you and stick with that! Does a dry-erase board in your kitchen or office work best for you? Or a to-do list? Whatever method you prefer, get organized! Organization does wonders for your mental health.
11. Make More Room for Quality Time
Life can get incredibly hectic, but remember to make time to hit the pause button and make time to spend with your family regularly. Allow the time to soak in the love you have for one another, not only is this is mood booster but it also works as a reminder as to why we do the things we do to begin with. Don't allow the responsibilities of the world to make you lose sight of what really matters. Quality time improves mental health and eases feelings of depression while also strengthening the bond of your family.
12. Wake Up Earlier
If you are an early bird, skip this one. But for those of you who are like me, the night owls who can't seem to get out of bed at a decent hour and love the snooze button, I see you, and waking up earlier would do you more favors than sleeping in ever will. It’s going to take some time and some discipline but waking up earlier makes SUCH a difference in the quality of your day as well as your productivity.
Discipline
There isn't much that anyone can say to you to make you get out of bed early, you have to see the benefit and want the change bad enough to get started. So I’ll just tell you what is helping me. Knowing all of the things I want to accomplish and the things I have to get done on a daily basis, I had to understand that it is pretty much impossible for me to do it all without waking up earlier.
So I began intentionally trying to go to sleep early, making it my goal to begin waking up somewhere between 5-5:30 am (you by no means have to wake up that early but I’ve always wanted to be up before the sun). Once I'm up I get dressed and head straight to the gym, this not only helps me to stay up because I’m up and moving, but getting in some good exercise first thing in the morning helps to keep me energized.
You can set a million alarms, but you still won't get up until you feel it's worth it to get up. Try going to bed earlier so that you’re able to get the amount of rest you need. Starting off you may get tired throughout the day, I have been using green tea or my favorite caffeinated tea to help me push through until it becomes normal for me.
If you and caffeine don't do well try your best to stay hydrated and eat foods that give you natural energy & take your B & multivitamins so that you don't find yourself napping only to end up going to sleep late and thus the cycle continues. Wake up, plan your day and get to it! Your accomplished goals will thank you!
13. Start Working to Forgive Yourself
Almost always easier said than done, consistently being hard on yourself does you no favors. You are not a Wonder Woman. You cannot do it all. So when you aren’t able to do it all, give yourself grace, because no one can, and rarely does anyone expect you to. Now, this is not to say that you should procrastinate, and make things a priority that shouldn’t be. But this is saying, that when you are truly trying your best, and you feel like you fall short, forgive yourself and do what you couldn't today, tomorrow.
Sometimes we have too much on our plate and we set unrealistic expectations of ourselves that no one would be able to accomplish, and then when we don’t we allow that to affect us emotionally. This results in a downward spiral of mom guilt. And that does not help you, your children, your family, or anyone else around you. Do what you can and save the rest for another day.
14. Set Reasonable Goals For Yourself
If you are someone who sets monumental goals for yourself and then finds yourself disappointed when you haven't accomplished them in an unreasonable amount of time, come here for a second…stop it. Cut it out. There is nothing wrong with setting large goals but try setting small attainable ones first. I like to make a list of my big goals on Trello, and then make a list of the small steps I need to take in order to get there and those small goals will go in my planner.
And I set these small steps in time frames that I know I can actually accomplish. And because of that, this blog exists. I wouldn't have gotten here without setting small goals and being kind to myself by giving me a decent amount of time to accomplish them. As I stated above, you are not Wonder Woman and that is okay! You don’t have to be. So take it a bit easier mama, you can accomplish those goals, but make sure that you are also being realistic. The last thing you want is to find yourself burnt out or depressed because you didn't do all the things you set out to do in 2 days that really should have taken you 2 months. It’s going to be okay.
Summary
These past few years, the conversation surrounding self-care has gone from it being about our emotional self-care and overall well-being to some sort of self-serving movement. In some spaces, we are told that not considering anyone else’s needs other than our own is self-care. And I feel like many of us have lost sight of what self-care actually is.
This idea that no one else matters but you and that your focus should only ever be on you, what you want and what you deserve is just as damaging to us and the ones around us as not taking care of ourselves is. It is possible to both practice healthy self-care and also take care of and serve those around us. I truly believe that those who only focus on themselves are often the most unhappy.
Naturally, if you don’t take care of yourself both inside and out it’s going to be very difficult to pour into those around you. However, there needs to be a balance. And I believe that by applying the self-care tips above, you will be able to achieve that balance.
This post was all about the steps toward better self-care. I would like to hear the things you have done when you felt it was time to get your life in order and how you began to see the benefits of self-care once you started practicing it regularly. Please share down below or email me directly here.